This is what it means...

I enjoy listening to the local Christian music station and every day they play these short "commercials" with people saying how they always hear the right song at the right time and what a blessing it is. And, while I like the music, I can't honestly say I was similarly encouraged - until Wednesday that is.

I got in the car to pick up our $5 pizza for dinner just 30 minutes after Bruce came home and told me he had lost his job. I was shocked and thought he must be kidding, but, if you knew Bruce, he doesn't kid about these things. He was dead serious and the very tight hug he gave me spoke volumes.

So, when I turned the radio on, Natalie Grant's song, Held,came on.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Unemployment can happen to anyone, at any time, when you least expect it. And in this economy, it can feel especially scary, particularly for people in my generation who have not experienced things like this.And even though the Bible tells us it rains on the just and the unjust, it still doesn't lessen the sting.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

And then the chorus comes, reminding us that God uses our circumstances to draw us to Him, that we might now how it feels to rest in His promise and larger purpose for our lives. Bruce's job isn't sacred, but when you are faced with not having one, it feels pretty darn close.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

It is even tempting to just give into any anger or hatred we might experience. Sometimes it does feel good to just let the bitter feelings stew and stimmer. But Proverbs teaches us that only the fool handles adversity this way. The wise man knows that peace does not come from letting the bitterness take over, but from letting God take over, and surrendering to His will, whatever physical, earthly hardships it might bring.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

The temporary "suffering" of our single-income family can not compare with the suffering of Christ on the cross. I even hesitate to call it suffering, though it felt that way in the first few hours. We are most likely going to be "okay" in an earthly sense. As a teacher, Bruce will still have a paycheck until July, and an additional five weeks worth of sick leave that will cover our August expense. Our insurance will last through July as well and since I'm not on it, the medical care for Babin won't be compromised.

To all who have already lifted up prayers for us, thank you. They are sustaining our faith and encouraging us to look at other opportunities for our lives.