I recently read an article online written by one John Rosemond. It was a response to a husband who was unhappy with how much mothering and how little "wife-ing" his wife was doing.
It brought out a seriously strong reaction in me. It made me mad. Go read it. It might make you mad too. In it, Rosemond says no one ever questioned him when he was speaking to a large group, so therefor everyone agrees with him. Most likely, they were being polite and didn't think shouting disagreement in a large crowd was the right place to do it.
So, I'll address him here. He says,"So, at speaking engagements, I say to my audiences, who average 60/40 female, "Raising children is the most stressful thing a woman will do in her adult life, more stressful than running a major corporation." And then I ask, "Anyone disagree?" When no one disagrees, and no one ever
has, I up the ante: "Raising children has become bad for the mental health of women. Anyone disagree?" No one has ever disagreed. I go on to ask, "Why are women submitting to this? Certainly this is more oppressive than a glass ceiling or having other professional doors irrevocably shut. No?" No one disagrees."
First - I agree that raising children is more stressful than running a major corp, though I've never done the later. It just seems that way. If a corporation fails, people lose money. But if a mother fails, a life could be ruined.
Second - I vehemently disagree that raising children is bad for the mental health of women. Some women are not as well prepared for it, but the fault for that lies with the surrounding culture. Women are increasingly told they can "have it all" and then, when it doesn't work out all that well, they feel bad about themselves. They aren't able to live up to the standard the world has set for them.
Third - children are NOT the new glass ceiling. They are human beings that we (for the most part) willingly bring into the world. It is not fair to blame them for the mental health status of women. Even in cases of PPD, we do not blame the children.
I've ranted a lot already... anyone else have any thoughts about what Rosemond said???
Friday, July 02, 2010
Shared by Jennifer at 7/02/2010 08:16:00 AM
Labels: My Mothering
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