Thursday, July 01, 2010

How I Became a Stay At Home Mom

As a young girl (school aged), I never envisioned myself as a stay at home mom. If I ever even thought about being a mom, I was going to be a working mom. My mom had worked during my middle and high school years and things were fine. We still had family dinners most nights and she was still active in my life (sometimes a little too much, but that is a different post).

As I prepared for college, I chose a career in broadcasting. At one point, I even dreamed of owning a small AM station and living in the middle of no where, with a friend and some animals maybe. I was a fairly independent teen and made most of my own decisions. Even about college. My parents were mostly concerned about paying for it and let me choose where to go.

It wasn't until my Junior year of college, when I had a serious boyfriend that the idea of working and being a mom really became an issue for me. The guy was a deep thinker so it didn't really faze me that we kept talking about working moms. He also like to read. So he bought me two books, "Mommy Where Are You," and a "Busy Mother's Survival Guide."

As part of my own exploration of the issue, I spent a day with a mom who worked in television and had the job I wanted. Between that, reading the books, and the conversations with my then boyfriend and I had, I eventually decided to become a stay at home mom, but only after I had worked for a few years.

That was almost 13 years ago. It took me 10 years to finally become a stay at home mom because I worked for the first year of Charlotte's life. I never regret giving up my teaching career to be home with my girls. Though, to be honest, there are days I miss the salary.

An interesting side note to all of this is that the boyfriend who kept talking to me about being a stay at home mom was doing so because he did want to marry me. He knew he wanted a wife who would stay home. I'm certain that some days I don't live up to his expectations of how that would turn out, but I am grateful that he cared enough to allow me to change my mind instead of telling me what he wanted and asking me to choose. That was so wise for him to do at 20 years old. Chances are pretty good I would have told him whatever he wanted to hear if I knew marriage was on the line! We've been married 12 years now!

If you know a young lady in need of some wisdom about how to approach her college years in light of marriage and kids, I highly recommend you pass this link onto her - It is a conversation about how 2 woman might advise a young lady desiring a career in medicine.

1 comment:

  1. It's also important to note that during the first 9 years of our marriage, we made sure we never had expenses that exceeded one income. That way we would be able to afford to have you quit a job one day.

    Of course, you had to work one extra year because during your pregnancy we got caught in the housing bubble, so even the best laid plans can run into trouble.

    It just goes to show that Peter Drucker was right when he wrote, "Plans are worthless, but planning is invaluable."



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