Monday, October 22, 2007

Big Week!!!

Ahhh... 10 days and no blogging. Forgive me for being selfish, but I was trying to use all of my time for my daughter since this is the week I go back to work. Yep, you read that correctly. I am going back to work this week. Charlotte was taken to her daycare for a half-day today and will begin full days on Thursday, when I am back at school.

This morning I got out of bed around 5:15 (I'd been up and in and out of sleep since about 1 am already) and started my morning routine. I've written it all down so I don't forget anything important since I now have 2 people to get ready each morning. By 6 am I had to wake Charlotte up for a final nursing session before we left. Out the door by 6:20 and at the daycare by 6:30, when they open. I spent about 20 minutes there with Mrs. Wooten and Charlotte before I finally conceded it was time to go. I really could have stayed longer but it wouldn't have been productive for setting a routine. The good news is that neither of us cried, at least not before I left. I am proud that I held up pretty well emotionally until I called Bruce to tell him how good I was doing. Then, just talking about having left her made it more real and I got a little teared up.

Since it was not quite 7 am, I decided to get my grocery shopping done. Silly me, grocery and drug stores don't open until 8 am. Oh well. Since I wasn't going for any sale items at Publix I decided Wal-Mart would do. And since I had some extra time on my hands, I found a couple more clothing items to wear to school. They are a late birthday present to myself since the items I ordered online didn't fit right and had to be returned.

I discovered that retail therapy didn't really work for me though. I felt really lonely in that Wal-Mart without Charlotte. I've hardly been anywhere without her for 10 weeks now. Sure, I've left her at home occasionally to do the grocery shopping or go to something at church, but this was different, more final. I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe it was the sense that this is my 'new normal' and I didn't like it. I really am praying for God to make a way for me to be home, or at least make my time with her as fulfilling as possible - for both of us.

On the upside, I'll probably have more time to blog once I am back at work since I have more planning period time than I need.

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