Monday, August 03, 2009

Flash Frozen Friendship

A long time ago, my friend Heather wrote about freezing all of her friendships at the height of their perfection.  It resonated with me, but not because I wanted to freeze all my friendships, but because I had some ghosts of friendships past that wouldn't leave me alone. I knew early on that not all friendships were meant to last forever.

I have lots of friends that have been temporary... I just wished they realized it! One girl, whom I was friends with in 6th or 7th grade, decided to spread rumors about me when we got to the 8th grade. From that point on, we hardly ever spoke to each other. Then, fast forward to the college years and she starts visiting my parents house while I am out of town. She tries to meet up with me again several years later when I was in town working, but things just never click for us. I was over the rumor-spreading, but we still had nothing in common. Despite this, she kept calling me for years. I usually just didn't answer the phone but sometimes would answer before realizing who it was. When we moved to Frostproof I thought I had lost her, but she still found me. It wasn't until we changed our cell phone numbers that I finally stopped hearing from her.

Now, since my blog isn't private, I know she can find me if she googles me, but I guess she got the message after I didn't return her phone calls for 3-4 years.

Maybe, some might argue, and I did with myself too, that I should have reached out to her in Christian love and tried to build a bridge... But, I didn't know how to do that at the time.

Then, there was a time in my life where I felt like a stalker. After I got married, one of my best friends just dropped off the face of the earth. She wouldn't return my phone calls. She always had plans when I wanted to get together. I think it was at least a year before I gave up the effort. For her I guess, she didn't need my friendship any more.

It is hard to know when a friendship has passed us by. Often, one person knows it before the other. But I guess in the end, that is how it has to be. Friendships rarely end by mutual decision.

Sometimes though, we can reconnect with an old friend after more than a decade and the relationship feels just like an old glove.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you, Jenni. I have LOVED catching back up...

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  2. I love this post Jennifer! Everything you wrote is so completely accurate! I've had similar thoughts before :)

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