Family Musings

I never thought I'd need to talk to my 6 year old about suicide. But on the bus ride home this afternoon, some of the older students told her about a classmate of theirs who is believe to have committed suicide this morning. So, because I'm not afraid to tell my children the truth about life, we talked about what she heard. I didn't try to distract her from the story, leaving her with unanswered question. Instead, I used the opportunity to talk to her about broken hearts. A while ago, after the Sandy Hook school shooting, she wanted to know why someone would want to hurt other people and then kill themselves. At that time, I told her about broken hearts and that when you combine a broken heart with a "broken brain" (my overly simplified phrase for mental illness), it leads some people to do bad things, things that hurt others. Today, I used those same words to describe what happened to Rebecca (I'm not saying she was mentally ill, but if she did commit ...

I am so glad that, as a follower of Christ, I am called to think differently. Were it not for Christlike thinking, I'd find myself stuck in sorrow, fear, and dread far more often. I am human of course and do deal with these issues, but faith in Christ gives me a place to go with my fear and my dread and my sorrow. In my life, this hasn't just been a theoretical idea either. Recently, two situations in my life tested how much I really believed what I wrote about thinking differently. To understand where I am coming from, you may recall a post I wrote last Spring called " Motherhood and God's Sovereignty ." About 2 weeks after I wrote that post, I had my 20-week ultrasound. In it, the ultrasound tech thought she noticed a club foot. Her findings were inconclusive, so we eventually had another ultrasound. As it turns out, our son does have a right club foot. At the time of my post on God's sovereignty I wondered if my thoughts were the natural progression o...

The adjustment to taking a child to school every day has gone fairly well. We've developed a few morning and evening routines that certainly make getting out the door much easier. I've tested them by waking up late or neglecting the routines in the evening... without them, things start to unravel quickly. And rushing to get out the door is no fun for any of us! One thing that I thought about this morning, and surprised myself with, is that I'm kind of back to being lonely as a SAHM. Sure, I may have complained about Charlotte's constant chatter, but now that she had gotten old enough to have actual conversations, I did enjoy her company more. Mary plays wonderfully by herself. Which is great in so many ways. I can be more productive if I choose to be since she can occupy herself making up great stories with her Littlest Pet Shops or coloring several pages. In fact, I think she prefers playing alone to playing with me. I looked back over my schedule for the last mo...

It didn't take long... My feelings of pride that I am doing the right things finally caught up with me. I was starting to pat myself on the back for feeding strangers and teaching my girls about the importance of God's command to " go ye therefore ." Then, within two hours of doing one of my most (seemingly) radical "go ye's," I got a reality check. It turns out, that, as much as I know and love God, I'm not quite ready to be Jesus to the "least of these." As we arrived at the home for the mentally challenged, I knew it would be a difficult experience. Not only was there the cultural barrier to overcome, but now, I was going to be interacting with people who were not fully aware of how the rest of us define personal space. Sure enough, it took no more than 10 minutes for me to physically back away from an out stretched arm of one of the residents. When he saw me back off, he became aware enough to go and wash his hands, thinking thi...

It's been a busy week in our house and the pace won't be slowing down for at least a couple more weeks. But, looking over our schedule, I wouldn't change anything. Everything coming up is good stuff. The first big thing is my Christmas present from last year. Bruce is sending me to The Gospel Coalition 2012 Women's conference in Orlando . I'll admit to getting pretty emotional when I opened the envelope and Bruce filmed it . It's not particularly flattering, but it reminds me how sweet my husband really is. Can I tell you that I am really looking forward to going? Because I am. Bruce has been lovingly teased me this past week because I've kept the conference schedule open and look at it several times a day. But every time I look at it, I'm reminded by what a blessing it is to go and hear so many gifted and blessed speakers share from their heart. The theme is "God's Revelation of Himself in Scripture." And the list of speakers is a wh...

Ten days ago I thought I was stepping out on a limb when I shared my thoughts about mothering and God's sovereignty . After some Christians gave me odd looks when I explained it to them, I really posted it not knowing if I was right. I mean, I thought I was right, but when someone I respected was among the head tilters, I did have my doubts. Shortly after writing and posting my thoughts, my doubts were quickly assuaged by your comments, both here, on Facebook, and in private communication. I truly have some of the most encouraging friends a woman could ask for. Then today, upon waking from a lovely, summer nap, my friend Angela asked if I had seen the most recent Desiring God blog post . I hadn't so I clicked right over... And wouldn't you know it? John Knight had written about the very same topic, affirming what I had written less than 2 weeks ago. Sure, he did it better, but it was so incredibly affirming to read the words of such a great Christian leader echoing my...

Sometimes, I don't realize how odd I am until I share the inner workings of my brain with other people. They kind of cock their head to the side and look at me, confused or bewildered at what I've just said. Or maybe they are trying to think of a polite way to point out that I am crazy. As this pregnancy has progressed (I'm now almost 18 weeks along), I've left a few people with tilted heads as I explain my thoughts about motherhood and God's sovereignty. You see, for lots of reasons, I've thought a lot about how I would react if something went wrong. And while I can't be sure until I am in that situation, I know that God is sovereign. Here is how that is playing out in my mind during my third pregnancy (and where the tilted head might come in)... Because our family already has 2 daughters, many people have assumed that we are hoping for a boy. This question is mildly irritating when I think about what it implies about Mary (not having been a boy, she ...

I have no idea what I am going to do with my 4 year old. I really think that she might be smarter than me. And more compassionate too. Tonight she totally brought me to tears with this conversation that my husband shared on his Facebook page. Charlotte was bothering  Jennifer , asking for so many things so quickly. So, Jennifer said, "Just a minute Charlotte. I'm not Superwoman." Charlotte responded, "Yes you are, Mommy. You extend your hand to the poor."  Charlotte actually quoted Proverbs 31 about her mother. We have such an awesome daughter. "She extends her hand to the poor,  And she stretches out her hands to the needy." ( Pro 31:20 , NASB) Lord have mercy on me... I hope I can always live up to her image of me. And that, when I inevitably fail, she extends her compassion towards me. All I meant was that I couldn't do 5 different things at once, which is clearly how I would define a Superwoman. But that didn't matter to her. She de...

Bruce here, hijacking Jennifer's blog again. Today is Mother's Day. And I thought I share a little bit about my appreciation for Jennifer. Jennifer and I met in 10th grade history class. And, within one week of meeting Jennifer, I told her that we were going to get married, one day. This is an undisputed fact. But, Jennifer still has trouble believing I really meant it. Of course, she also shook her head "no" when I asked her to marry me 5 years later; she couldn't believe I was serious that time, either. But, I was. So, why would a 15-year old punk be picking out his future wife? It sure does sound pretty absurd. But, even back then, I knew what kind of woman I wanted to be the wife and mother of my future family. Yes, I was a strange kid. Years later, when I actually asked her to marry me, I had already planned out our financial future so that I knew we'd be able to make it. I was only 19, at that time, but I knew people, including Jennifer, would wo...

There has been a theme in my life in the past several months. Anyone lucky (?) enough to hear me talk about the problems in the world knows that I always come back to the same solution. I don't intend for things to always turn this way, but it just seems that if people would listen to my advice, the world would be a better place. That sounds awfully vain. I know. But I am not suggesting something new, even though it might feel radical to some. This idea is biblical and where it is practiced, life improves for everyone (but maybe not before it gets a little uglier). For me, it's all about relationships. I honestly feel that, if we are willing to engage in honest communication and let the messiness of life spill out of and into us, then so many things would be better in life. But, what do I mean by "let the messiness of life spill out of and into us"? Good question. What I mean is, if I am willing to be real with other people and not be scared to get into their ...

Today, I received an email from my church asking me (and everyone else on the church distribution list) to consider participating in sharing a "cardboard testimony." I've been watching videos of other churches doing this for at least a few years and always hoped I'd get a chance to participate. Then, this afternoon, given the opportunity, I could barely think of anything to share. Figures! Right now I feel like I am in the middle of finding out what the back of my piece of cardboard ought to say. God is still not finished writing my story and I don't really know how it is going to turn out. But, I really want to participate, so I did come up with a testimony that is relevant to who I am now and will be sharing it on Sunday, April 29th in my church's evening service. (If you are local to me, that would be Kathleen Baptist Church . Feel free to come and visit!) Until then, I am watching all sorts of cardboard testimony videos from other churches. Each one ...

"I'm just a mom." Have you ever said or thought that? Have you ever heard a friend say that? It's not really true you know. We are never "just" anything. In fact, we've been created with hearts of compassion that are meant to ache when we read stories about the atrocities in this world. One that grips my heart and mind every time I am reminded of it is child slavery. I first became aware of this issue after listening to the audio book Not for Sale . In some ways, I read the book and my despair grew. How could I, "just a mom" do anything to help children half a world away. I could barely get my own child to fall asleep, let alone rescue another child from a life of hard toil! Children like Malavika who, at 5 years old, had already done more hard labor than I've probably done in my entire life. Fortunately, the book didn't leave me feeling hopeless. I discovered that I have a tool so obviously available for this fight that I alwa...

Believe it or not, 2011 is the first year that my family has ever really put up a Christmas tree. When it was just Bruce and I it never really seemed all that important, especially since we were usually traveling on the holiday itself. But last year, after Christmas was over, I snuck over to a clearance sale and bought a 6 1/2 foot fake tree. It's been hiding in my daughters' closet ever since. Well, until Black Friday. And then last night, it was finally adorned with ornaments that I've been collecting over the last 14 years. I especially love my tree topper, which has been sitting on tables for the last few years since it never had a tree to go on. It is a metal nativity piece featuring Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. For posterity's sake, I thought it might be a good idea to note when some of my favorite ornaments were acquired so my children won't have to guess one day. This ornament is from Charlotte's first Christmas. And this one is from Mary...

I've shared before that our family loves the Jesus Storybook Bible . Don't tell the girls but for Christmas they are even getting a CD copy of the book so we can take it along with us in the car. We've also really enjoyed watching the animated readings of the book on the Zonderkids YouTube channel. Here is my current favorite video (super long intro ends at ~0:45). As I've 'followed' the book on Facebook, I've also come to really appreciate its author, Sally Lloyd-Jones. And tomorrow night, we'll get to spend some time with her as she hosts a LIVE online Christmas Party. According to the press release I received: From 6 p.m.-7 p.m. EST, visitors will be able to tune in at http://www.livestream.com/Zonderkidz  for Lloyd-Jones’s live reading of her critically-acclaimed holiday children’s book, SONG OF THE STARS: A Christmas Story. The festivities will continue with a Q&A with the author, exciting prize giveaways, and special musical guest appe...

Sarah Bessey recently shared her open letter to women's ministries and it got me to thinking... ...mostly because I am the coordinator for a small group that ministers to women. It's called MOPS and has been around a really long time. I love it and it has been transformational in my parenting, my marriage, and my personal relationship with Jesus. I agree with what Sarah wrote. Especially this: We need Jesus. We are seeking deep spirituality. We are seeking fellow travelers. We are hungry for true community, a place to tell our stories and listen to another, to love well. But above all, point me to Jesus--not to the sale at the mall. She is so right. Even the women who don't know they are seeking him, are still doing it. Some of them will wake up one day and realize the void they are trying to fill with all sorts of things and activities just can't be filled, except by a personal relationship with Jesus. There are probably women in my church who are even trying to fil...

I have so many things to be thankful for and have spent the last few weeks listing them on the Family Musings Facebook page. And as I've been known to do in the past, I want to record those status updates here so they will have a better chance of surviving the years. (1) I'm thankful for my amazing friends who support me in many ways. (2) MOPS at Kathleen Baptist Church (3) My beautiful family ! ‎(4) The food in my pantry and refrigerator. Our family has plenty of nutritious choices and will not go hungry. ‎(5) I was thankful for beautiful Fall weather for our family's mini vacation .  (6) I was thankful for a husband who let me take a vacation with the family, instead of asking me to do everything I normally do [dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning] somewhere else. (7) Today I am thankful for the reminder of how much I love  Zumba Fitness and the opportunity to host a House Party this month. ‎(8) Today I am thankful that my girls love books. We ...

 There is a baby shower gift that I love to give. It is something every mom needs, even if she doesn't know it. It is Devotional Diapers. These little diapers give moms of babies a brief chance during their day to reflect on the Word of God and, hopefully, experience a moment of peace amidst all the feedings, dirty diapers, and spit ups. Not only do Devotional Diapers make a great gift, they are easy to give. I don't remember how many baskets of these I've given to moms at baby showers. Once, I even shipped a basket half-way across the country to a mom who I knew needed some peace in her day. To make these, all you have to do is print out mailing labels with Bible verses on them. I chose verses that relate to being a mother or parent as well as verses about love and service (because we all know that changing 7 diapers a day is a true service to the littlest member of our family). I do have duplicates on this list and that's okay with me. Then, you just stick ...

Lots of people accuse social media participants like myself of only presenting the good side of our lives. There has even been research showing that the more time people spend on social media (blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc...), the more likely they are to be depressed. The theory is that they think everyone else has a great life because we all post cute stories about our super smart kids or brag on our husbands for being so awesome. And that theory makes sense to me. On the flip side, I've always thought about myself as a blogger who presented my life as real. I've shown you pictures of my messy house , Bruce's unemployment ,  Mary's medical issues , shared my bad mothering moments , and how my vanity kept me from serving my family . Of course, I try not to share stories of my girls that I think will embarrass them when they are older or stories about fights with my husband. I learned a long time ago that even though we may resolve the issue in our marriage, other peo...

It might seem obvious that a stay at home mom to a preschooler and a toddler would do just about anything to get away from her life to spend a few days of hanging out with some of her best girl friends. Especially after spending a good chunk of the summer solo parenting because her husband was out of town at work. And I suppose for some moms, that would be enough of a reason to pack up the mini van and get as far away as possible. But in less than a week, I have an even better reason to round up those girl friends and go on a 10-hour road trip to Tennessee - MOPS Convention! MOPS Convention is a crazy, jam-packed weekend full of learning ways to be a better mom, wife and MOPS leader. Last year I learned so much - about leading large groups of women in creative activities (i.e. crafts),  how  grace is essential to mothering , why my room mate saved her first kiss for her husband, what happens when I don't get enough sleep and I can't blame a restless baby, and that I reall...

Last week my mom was taken to the hospital for a low platelet count. They sent her home on Friday because her numbers had improved after an IVIG treatment and lots of steroids. At her follow up appointment yesterday her platelet count was back down to 6,000 (it had been around 175,000 when she was released last week). So, she was sent back to the hospital. At this point, the plan of care isn't firm, because honestly, the doctor said the body doesn't usually work this way, even when people have ITP , which is what she was diagnosed with a week ago. I'd share more, but since there still aren't a lot of details available I don't want to share my speculations. Please pray for the doctor's to discover the cause of her low counts and to establish a plan of care that keeps her healthy and active. Please pray for my dad and the rest of our family as we try to support her. Please pray for my mom that she will have peace in her heart and will accept the plan of care th...